Courage

Hey there, blog friends. Tomorrow marks the first day of the autumn season here in the midwest, and like every other basic white girl in town, I'm really stoked. FALL! PUMPKINS! BOOTS! HOORAH!

Life has been so... inspiring, lately, and eye opening. And things have been horrible in the world but there have been good things, too. While global violence seems to be at an all-time high, political nonsense here at home seems to have reached an all-time low, and folks like me, "millennials," seem to want as much involvement as we do disengagement. And I think I fit there, too... I care and I don't care. I'm ready and I'm not. Someone make it go away so I can be outraged. A woman is one of the closest candidates to become President, though, so that's really cool.

Things I'm into lately:  music, so much music, and art. And writing. And nature. And experiences. Oh, and reading. Yes, reading. I recently finished this book, Emma Cline's The Girls, and it has me feeling like a hippy... but not the kind that wants to join a cult or anything. Just the kind yearning for freedom and solidarity and happiness... and peace.

I really got to thinking about people... people I know and have known, and how as we grow up, we all spread and drift and branch off into different directions, like the branches of a large tree. And there are people I have known and am so proud of for doing exactly what their hearts tell them to do, ah. It's so refreshing. And then there are those, like me, that know what their heart wants but doesn't really listen because other things matter a little more, like bills, loans, and responsibilities. I wish I had the courage and support to do what I love, to be who I want to be. Oh, having a life can cost you, more than your money, but your passion, too.

And what is my passion? Do I really know? I'm definitely not one of those people who just know what they want in life, know what they want their careers to be like. No, I'm more of a wanderer. I do know that sitting in front of a computer all day long working magic on the internet isn't really my life's passion, but it pays the damn bills so I guess I have to keep chugging along. Because all the cool and interesting stuff is fulfilling but doesn't pay shit.

Wife and mom. Man, I tell you what... nothing makes me happier. And that sounds crazy to a lot of feminists and other women out there. But I'm a feminist. But I'm a woman! And I love being a wife and mother. Not the 1950s housewife kind of wife and mother, but the new age mother (I'm a cool mom). I love the experiences I have with my family. The giggles and inside jokes and TV binges I have with my husband. The smiles and snuggles I share with my baby boy. That's what it's all about for me. That's what life is about.

The moral? Listen. Write. Paint. Draw. Hike. Walk. Read. Do. Experience. Experience it all and love it. Life is way too damn short.

Always,
S